1. Stray cats will
not be fed.
2. Stray cats will
not be fed
anything except dry
cat food.
3. Stray cats will
not be fed
anything except
canned cat food.
4. Stray cats will
not be fed anything
except canned cat
food, yummy treats
and leftover fish
scraps.
5. Stray cats will
not be encouraged
to make this house
their permanent residence.
6. Stray cats will
not be petted,
played with or
picked up and
cuddled
unnecessarily.
7. Stray cats that
are petted,
played with, picked
up
and cuddled will
absolutely
not be given a
name.
8. Stray cats with
or without a name
will not be allowed
inside the house at any time.
9. Stray cats will
not be allowed inside
the house except at
certain times.
10. Stray cats will
not be allowed
inside the house
except on days ending in y.
11. Stray cats
allowed inside will
not be permitted to
jump up on or sharpen
their claws on the
furniture.
12. Stray cats will
not be permitted
to jump up on, or
sharpen claws on
the really good
furniture.
13. Stray cats will
be permitted on
all furniture but
must sharpen claws on
new $114.99
sisal-rope cat-scratching post
with three
perches.
14. Stray cats will
answer the
call of nature
outdoors in the sand.
15. Stray cats will
answer the
call of nature in
the three-piece, high-impact
plastic tray filled
with Fresh n Sweet kitty litter.
16. Stray cats will
answer the
call of nature in
the hooded litter pan
with a three-panel
privacy screen
and plenty of head
room.
17. Stray cats will
sleep outside.
18. Stray cats will
sleep in the garage.
19. Stray cats will
sleep in the house.
20. Stray cats will
sleep in a
cardboard box lined
with an old blanket.
21. Stray cats will
sleep in the special
Kitty-Komfort-Bed
with non-allergenic
lambs wool
pillow.
22. Stray cats will
not be allowed to sleep in our bed.
23. Stray cats will
not be allowed to sleep in our bed, except at the
foot.
24. Stray cats will
not be allowed to sleep in our bed
under the
covers.
25. Stray cats will
not be allowed to sleep in our bed
under the covers
except at the foot.
26. Stray cats will
not play on the desk.
27. Stray cats will
not play onthe desk
near the
computer.
28. Stray cats are
forbidden to walk on the
computer keyboard on the desk
when the
human is asdfjjhhkl;ljfd.;oier puyy
kmm4hbdm9lo9jmdskdm,.
USING IT.
|
